First Doctor's Appointment

So, I went to the doctor this past Thursday (7/19) for what I thought was my first appointment, but when I got up to the counter the receptionist looked dumbfounded by my name, and then told me that my appointment was actually the following Thursday (7/26).

Pregnancy Brain already?!?

Anyway, because both Will and I had taken off of work, the nurse practitioner was gracious enough to see us!

I was so nervous! But they didn't do a whole lot! I was mostly very anxious to see if they were gonna do an ultrasound...which they did, and it was super cool to see the sac and little seed...but because I was only 5 weeks and not 6, (remember my appointment was for the following week!) we couldn't hear our little peanut's heartbeat yet...bummer.

Naturally, as I think any new mother would do, I went into freak out mode, but the nurse assured us again and again that it was just a little too early and that she isn't worried at all, and that everything she did see on the ultrasound were all good signs.

I am just so thankful that right before the ultrasound I told her my cycle is 33-34 days and I ovulate late, because they were thinking I was close to 7 weeks...and if we didn't hear a heartbeat then it could have been a bad sign, but alas, I am only 5 weeks.

I guess the fact that I'm only 5 weeks could also explain the lack of symptoms, which of course had me worried as well. I don't have any real nausea, (yet!) and I'm always tired...so I don't know if that's anything new. But I do have very sore breasts and a strange hankering for all things spicy!

Grow strong my little pea!
Mommy

Dear Baby,

There is so much I want to tell you.
First of all, I want to let you know that Daddy and I prayed earnestly for you.
We prayed for when would be the best time to have you.
We prayed for the blessing to be able to experience pregnancy.
And now here we are, praying for a healthy, beautiful, perfect, baby.

Mommy doesn't care if you are a boy or a girl,
Or if you are born in Summer, Fall, Winter, or Spring,
Or if you have lots of dark hair like mommy and daddy,
or none at all.
Mommy doesn't care if you have daddy's beautiful blue eyes, or my brown ones.
Or fair skin, or dark skin.
Mommy just wants you to be healthy.
Please, grow strong (and be strong) for mommy.
I'm a nervous wreck.

I love you my little apple seed (That's how big you are now!),
Mommy

So, other than a brief stint at Xanga years ago, I'm pretty new at this "blog thing." I'm literally looking at the screen like, "Ok...so I just type?" Anyway...

So, I promised myself years ago that when my husband and I started a family I would document our journey from the very beginning.

Well, yesterday for the very first time I saw two beautiful lines on (2) pregnancy tests...so here I am!

Honestly, the whole day still feels unreal. We had been trying for a few months without success and like any woman, I started to question if something was wrong with me. (even though deep down I really didn't feel like anything was) I'm just very impatient!

I had worked myself up all week long saying, "Friday is the day!" "Friday is when I'll take a test!" In actuality I was about a week late and could have took one days before then, but I kept thinking if I took one it would just be negative, and then this hopefulness and excitement (I was trying not to get too excited!) would be gone. So, needless to say, its been a long week!

As I sat in the bathroom waiting for the results I just prayed and prayed, "Your will be done." I didn't plead with God to be pregnant, in fact, I asked for him to soothe my disappointment if it was negative and ensure me that it will happen in his timing, not mine.

You ever dream of a day in your head and imagine exactly how it was going to go? Yeah, that's not how this went. I always thought either my husband wouldn't be home and I'd do some cutesy little thing to let him know I was pregnant, or if he was home, he would wait in there with me and when that pretty little positive came up we'd cry and embrace.

Instead, it went a little something like this:

Me in the bathroom in our bedroom.
Will in the kitchen.

Me: (In the most obnoxious white-trash scream) "Willlllllllllll!!! I'm PREGNAAAAAANT!"
Will: "Whaaaat?"

Then we stared at the two tests in disbelief (I may or may not have left them on the counter all day just to look at) and then we embraced <3. But oddly enough there were no tears. Maybe it was the shock?

And then I left to go to work, surrounded by babies all day. How's one suppose to accomplish anything? I couldn't think of anything else.